I watched several games this last weekend and I talked to a lot of people and a couple of themes kept coming up. One of those themes was the concept of playing for a paid coach (one with no personal ties to the team) versus playing for "daddy" coaches...someone whose child or other relative is a member of the team. There are pros and cons for each, and I'd like to take a minute to chat a little about this.
First off, there is a common perception that playing for a paid coach is the best way to go. Yes, this does have some advantages, no worrying about stuck behind someones daughter/son, no "daddy ball", etc, But one thing I've noticed as I've watched multiple teams is that coaches with no personal ties to a team have less of a personal interest in that team. For some, its become a business. Coaching has become a money-making enterprise and they arent invested in the success of each individual child. They are looking for team success...trophies, medals etc that they can show so they can recruit new girls, or add more teams...i.e. more money in the pocket. Again...this is a generalization. There are LOTS and I mean LOTS of great coaches out there who dont have a child on the team. But realize that there is a financial component to this, and coaches are always looking for the next best thing.
DISCLAIMER: I'm a "Daddy Coach"...and I'm damn proud of that!! I love being on the field with my girls, I enjoy watching them succeed in something they love, and being a part of that success. So, this next section has a very personal bias. But, I would venture to guess that an overwhelming majority of coaches (paid or not) began as "Daddy" coaches. Somewhere along the line they wanted to coach their child and that began their coaching career. Some parents stop when their kids get older or stop playing...others continue on. One thing that I see as different between the paid coach and the "daddy" coach is the investment in the "TEAM" concept. When I coach a team, I want my child to be successful. And the best way for that to happen is for the team to be successful. That means I coach every kid to be successful. And you know...what I view as successful is not always what another parent views...and thats ok. Reasonable people disagree on things, especially when children are involved. I'm not going to be the best coach for every child, I understand that. But every time I'm asked to coach/assist with a team, I no longer have 1 or 2 daughters on that team. I now have 12..and I try to treat each one the way I want my daughter treated. As a parent..you should expect nothing less.
Unfortunately, there are some "daddy" coaches that are there for the sole purpose of promoting their daughter. If you're child is a shortstop, and the coaches child is a shortstop, ask lots of questions about how that is going to look. Are they going to rotate?? Ask hard questions, you're paying to have your child play, you should know what the coaches mind-set is. You'd ask a mechaninc what the mind-set is before you hand over a check to fix your car...why not with a coach who you are handling over your most precious asset? Ask around...ask players/parents who play or played on the team what their impression was. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!
I watched a game this past weekend where a team lost in the last inning...and this "paid" coach was just furious. He kept the girls on the field for 30 minutes after the game, lecturing, gesturing. I saw a lot of slumped shoulders from a bunch of 13 year olds. All I could think was...wow, these kids are not having much fun out there. Too many coaches lose sight of whats the real reason for them getting into coaching in the first place. Teaching, mentoring young athletes into better people. It should never be about the coach, it should be about the team. Yes...you want to play for a coach that has produced winning teams and quality student athletes, but you ahould also look for a coach that understands why he's there. And it shouldnt matter whether that coach is paid or a "daddy".
Being a coach is not easy, trying to please 12-13 kids AND thier parents is extremely difficult. If I'm successful 90% of the time, i'm doing a pretty good job. As I mentioned in an earlier post...know who your coach is!!! Research their background, ask their philosophies on teaching, are they a "yeller", or are they more laid back. What does your child want in a coach? Do they want to pushed hard, do they want someone who gets in their face, do they NEED someone to push them. There are lots of motivational techniques out there. You should know what motivates your child and find a coach who utilizes that motivation.
It is my sincere hope that reading this blog has given you some insight into the world of youth sports as I see it. Your views may be very different...and thats great!! I love discussing opposing points of views. If you like this blog..please share it among your friends. Post a comment or send me a note if there something you'd like me to write about or you would like more info. I am no expert...far from it. But I like to write and this is a topic I find extremely interesting.
I hope this message finds you well.
Thanks again for reading
Coach Mike
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