Since I appear to be the only person around who isn't interested in the Game of Thrones event this evening...and I have a crazy amount of coffee in me, I thought I'd sit down and update the little thing I call a blog. I haven't written anything in over a year (that should tell you how insane my life is) but I have been thinking about some things and I just thought I'd put pen to paper (sorry, old analogy).

First off, if you know me, you know I don't like to discuss politics in an online medium. I just have always thought you need face to face discussion, simply because of the passion involved. I'm still amazed at how hostile people get when talking to people that support the opposite candidate or party. Look, one of my closest and dearest friends is an avid Trump supporter. Even though I am a lifelong Republican, I strongly object to many of Trump's and his administration's decisions and policies. That being said...I think people from different sides can believe in different things and still be cordial, and even share a beer together. I'm a fervent believer in learning both sides of an equation. I watch CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. I want to hear both sides. I want all the information I can get before I make a decision on an issue. I wish more people would do the same. I talk to so many people that only look at their side...and have no interest in learning what other people think or see. And that's a disservice.

Now...onto my passion, Coaching. I have so many things I'd like to discuss here that its difficult to organize my thoughts. But one thing that I've spoken to many coaches about lately is the issue of playing time at the High School and travel ball levels. I was told the other day about a Freshman that quit JV ball at a local high school (not my school) because she wasn't getting the playing time that she thought she earned or deserved. My first thought was disappointment because that player will most likely never play for her high school again. But my 2nd thought was...what questions did she ask to understand why she wasn't receiving the time she was hoping for. I asked the coach...did the player ever ask you why she wasn't playing more? Or did she ask what did she need to do to get more playing time?? As a coach, I love when a player asks me what they need to do. It shows that they are being proactive and are taking responsibility and ownership of the situation. I'm sure there are coaches out there that play "politics" or have grudges against a player, but I've yet to run across a coach that refuses to play a player that won't help that coach and team be successful (notice I didn't say anything about wins). Success comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. And if there is a player that can help with the success of the team...they'll be on the field. I've yet to meet a kid that walks out to practice on the first day and says to themselves, "I'm going to be a distraction on this team". Something happens along the way to cause a player to go this direction. Its my job to make sure I'm doing everything I can to support a player as best as possible. And when a student becomes a distraction, it means I failed as a coach. So communication between me and my players is crucial to prevent an issue from becoming a problem.

On the positive side...a couple of things that make me notice a player and make me want to get a player in the game 1) Be productive when your opportunity arises. Now I know even the best hitters will fail 6 out of 10 times. But moving runners, taking a pitch or 2 if you're leading off the inning...those things will get you noticed by the coach. 2) Ask questions. Ask the coaches what you need to do to get better. Ask for additional fly balls, ground balls etc. I've NEVER told a kid no who asked me to stay to get extra work. Unfortunately...it just doesn't happen much anymore. 3) Help with things without being asked. Don't make me tell you to help with gear or help clean up the field. Make sure everything is taken care of before you leave. 4) Communicate with me. Being a teen age girl nowadays is extremely challenging. I know there are times when they are not feeling 100%, either mentally, emotionally or physically. And I don't need to know the details, but talk to me (or if not me...another coach). I always try to be supportive but communicate with your coaches. 5) Don't be late to practice or games. If a coach says be there at 230pm...be there at 2:15. Don't be strolling up at 2:30 and then make the team wait while you get your shoes on. 6) Be a supportive teammate. Nothing frustrates a coach more than players who aren't paying attention or cheering on their teammates during a game.

As a high school player, this is often the first time kids have to experience the issue of playing time. In travel ball these days, you don't like how much you're playing, you just find another team. That option isn't available in High School. It can be a huge adjustment for both the player and the parents and it can be extremely frustrating. (I've dealt with it myself with my kids). But the first thing I've always asked my kids if they start displaying frustration is...Did you talk to your coach? Did you ask what you need to do? And unfortunately...sometime the answer is not what you want to hear. But that's life. Sometimes there is someone better than you at your position, sometimes numbers play a part, and sometimes you and the coach just don't mesh. It happens...it sucks but it happens. And it happens in the real world also. I've told some parents that I not only try to teach softball to my players, but also adult responsibility. Parents wont always be there to defend their kids...they need to advocate for themselves. One thing that's becoming increasingly harder to communicate is the concept that a team needs EVERYONE to be on board to be successful And that's not just softball. To be a successful team, each member needs to understand that their role is crucial to the overall success of the team. If you can get each player (and their parents) to understand that...then as a coach, you've done your job. I wonder if the "showcase" world has created a generation of athletes that learn that they need to shine as an individual to get noticed, and the team comes 2nd.

And look...I have made a ton of mistakes as a coach, I'll make a ton more. I've missed on players both positively and negatively. I haven't always been as communicative and supportive that maybe I should have been. I've made a ton of friends and lost some too because of my decisions. Its not easy coaching other peoples kids while your missing your own kids games or events. But I signed on for that when I took the gig. And I love what I do. I love seeing the smiles on the face of a player who just got the game winning hit, or made a great play. And I also love putting my arm around a student that just needs some support after making a mistake. I love seeing a player at the store and having them say hi and tell their friends "That's my coach".

Coaching is a calling. And I hope when all is said and done, I hope I can look back and say I made a difference. Not because I won some games, not because I have a couple of patches, but because I made a small difference in these students lives. If I can do that...then I've been a successful coach.

I know this seems a bit self-serving. And if you've made it this far...I thank you. I'm not sure I'm even all that interested in what I have to say. I have a list of items that I'll be writing about in the future. I hope that maybe you'll stop by once in awhile and see if anything I say interests you. I have no idea if I'm even a decent writer...I'll leave that up to you as the reader. But if you have a comment, please give me some feedback. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Thank you for taking the time to read my musings.

See ya on the field.

Coach Mike

After thinking about the events in Alabama last night, a couple of things struck me...

1) Maybe the parties will finally stop throwing untenable, unappealing, and downright offensive candidates at us. I guess its a by-product of the nastiness of the political process, that decent, upstanding people no longer want to subject themselves and their families to the hit pieces and constant scrutiny, but good lord, that was the best we could do?

2) While I'm pleased that an alleged child predator is not in Congress, over 600,000 people still voted for him. This illustrates the blindness of so many voters. Basically, they'll vote for whoever has a "R" or "D" next to their name. How about actually looking at the candiate, finding out who they are and what they believe in, and voting for the BEST person for the job? Oh wait, sorry, i forgot pragmatism has no place in politics.

3) Doug Jones is in an interesting situation. He is a Democrat Senator in arguably the most Republican State in the country. If he votes along Democrat party lines the next 2 years, he'll for sure be voted out in the 2020 elections by the overwhelmingly Republican voters...and if he strays to the Republican side, he'll face the wrath of his own party which would probably abandon him in any future elections. My guess is that he'll have 2 years and we'll have a new senator from Alabama.

4) Full disclosure, I am lifelong Republican, and thats something I am proud of. However, I've never voted for anyone simply because they are also Republican. Just like I did when I was hiring emplyees, I looked for the best person for the job. I've voted for people that didnt share all my views, but I thought would represent me and my community well. I believe that this frame of thought is starting to permeate as people get tired of career politicians whose only purpose is to keep their jobs, and have failed to do their jobs.

5) As an American, I am proud that the good people of Alabama rose up and said no to someone who they viewed as an embarrassment to them and what they hold dear. Now I hope that Jones actually does some good and the Democrats don't abandon the very people that carried him to this victory (People of color, women, millennial's). Democrats have done a poor job of supporting these groups once they enter office (hence the Trump victory).

6) And finally, can government actually get back to the business of Governing?? Can we actually accomplish something that will benefit us a nation? Or are the next several months solely going to be about the 2018 midterms? Again, it will be nice to see people doing their jobs, instead of keeping their jobs.

Rant over...enjoy the rest of your day.

More time to write...so I'll write

I have been working from home for awhile, helping a friends firm with some things and trying to get my own recruiting business off the ground (more on that later), and when you work from home, and there is no here but the dogs...and all they do is sleep, your mind tends to wander, and you start thinking about things. So...since I have a few moments before the girls get home, I figured id write a little of it down.

1st thought - Don't let Twitter get the best of you. With the news today that a ESPN journalist/reporter was suspended due to a tweet. I began to wonder how many people have been fired/suspended and/or how many reputations have been damaged by an irresponsible or poorly thought out tweet. Before Twitter, people would express their opinion, but it was to their family, their social group, the exposure was limited and if you pissed someone off or said something inappropriate, it had a limited reach. NOW...your message goes world wide in a matter of seconds, and no matter how fast you delete the tweet, it has already been shared, screen shot and now you are left scrambling to apologize and hope that you are forgiven. Which, in these times...is a unlikely possibility. I tell this to student athletes all the time...be very, very, VERY careful what you put out there. I don't how hoe "private" your settings are, your message will be found.

2nd Thought - Seeing the fire devastation in Northern California has brought back some difficult memories for me and a lot of other people who had to work the fires we had here in San Diego back in 2003 and 2007. I hope and pray that everyone got out safe and that they will be able to rebuild their lives. I know many people in our back country areas never did rebuild and I hope we are able to help these people get back on their feet soon.

3rd Thought - I am deeply respectful of our flag and out anthem, as I see it as more than just a garment and a song. They are a symbol of a nation that has given millions a freedom that they couldn't have had in other places. I am also keenly aware of the social and racial injustices that many people face on a daily basis. I also believe that individuals have the right to protest as long as it in a peaceful manner. The NFL protests have become a lightning rod for the "protest" movement and I wonder if the original message has been lost. When the protests first started, it was aimed at racial issues between minorities and police, but now it seems that individuals are protesting the right to be able to protest. The other issue now presenting itself is "management's" attempt to rein in the protests by telling their employees...if you protest, you wont work here. I spent 30 years working for an employer that had strict policies on certain type of protests or statements. The County of San Diego stated very clearly that we could not strike, we could not promote a election candidate publicly, and if we did...we would be subject to suspensions or termination. And because we liked our job and wanted to work there, we adhered to those policies. While I applaud and support those willing to protest for what they believe in, there can be a cost. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for the NFL players, they are in the public view and every move they make is on camera and for public consumption. They should not be surprised when their protest is met with "protesting". As much as I encourage standing (or in this case, kneeling) for a cause, there shouldn't be a backlash for those who disagree with the manner on how they are protesting. There is no right answer, and if people can somehow agree that varying and difference of opinions are what made this country...then we'll actually be able to solve some of these issues.

4th thought - I've lost track of seeing posts on Facebook stating basically..."if you don't agree with me, please unfriend me". I guess I was mistaken, but I thought public debate on issues was a good thing. No one wants a homogenous society, where we all think alike. I like arguing (rationally of course) my thoughts and viewpoints with someone who has a different view on the same issue. I firmly believe that is what makes us learn and grow...and why they have things like debates. But when you shout the other person down, tell them your opinion is worthless, "unfriend" them simply because they don't share the same opinion. You've become exactly what you've been fighting against...intolerant, closed minded etc. Allow yourselves to see other points of view, you may learn something...and become a better person for it.

5th and last thought - Music soothes the soul. Not a new revelation, but with all heartbreaking news, the natural disasters, the man-made tragedies, the chill that has become the norm on your Facebook and Twitter feeds, you need to find an escape. I went to the Imagine Dragons concert last week, and found myself lost in their message for a good 2 hours. The daily stress was gone, I didn't think about politics, work, or any other negative, I was just able to sing, sway and escape. It was a pretty cool feeling. I cant stress enough how important it is to find 30 minutes a day to lose yourself in a couple of songs. Trust me...you'll feel a heck of a lot better after.

I think that's enough for 1 day. Oh...I mentioned earlier that I'm starting own business. Am announcement on that is coming soon.

If you made it this far, thank you. I hope I made you think a little, as that it what all writers hope for.

We'll talk soon

Mike

Why I do what I do

Its been a long time since I've been able to post and there have been some major changes in my life. I retired from my government job, started coaching high school, became a work from home parent, became a car-pool mom etc. So I decided to sit down again and update this blog.

I thought I'd take a minute to write about my passion and what impact its had on my life. For those who know me...and those who have recently met me, my passion is to coach. I love it. I love seeing kids I coached years ago at the store and they yell "Coach Mike". There is something about helping a child learn a skill, develop confidence, become part of something bigger than themselves. I'll never forget the moment when my high school team made the final out to win the Division 3 championship last year...I was so proud of the team, so proud of each and every girl who assumed a role, bought into a new culture, and battled and battled through each and every inning. There were kids who hardly played, but they brought leadership, and energy, and confidence. Its a season that will live in memory forever.

I've coached teams that barely won a game during a season, but I can still remember the faces of the kids when they got their first hit, or made their first catch. Those moments are priceless and I've been honored and blessed that so many parents have entrusted their kids to me. Its a trust that I don't take lightly. Each and every kid that I have coached becomes "mine" during that season, my kid, my daughter, my responsibility. Its not an easy task, and there aren't many that choose to take on that task. But its something that I, and select few, choose to do. We don't do this for a paycheck (trust me on this one), we don't do this for the accolades, we do this because we believe in what we do, we believe we have something to offer, and in my case, I want to pay back the incredible coaches I had growing up, and this is the best way I know how.

Another reason I love to coach, is that I get to spend precious time with my kids. They grow up so fast, and time just moves along, that those moments that we can share on the field is something you cannot give back. I've quit a job because they didn't want to give me the time to coach my kids. You don't get those moments back...and being able to share the successes, and ease the pain of disappointment. Those are moments and memories that will stay with you forever.

Unfortunately, there is a downside. There are times when you have to make tough decisions. And frankly, there are times where you simply blow it. You make a mistake that causes you to lose sleep, and you worry will you lose friendships. Sadly, this has and will be the case. The world of travel ball, and the pressures that come along with the ultra-competiveness of youth sports has ruined what would otherwise be great friendships. I have come to realize that this is a sad by-product of the world we have created. As I've become a coach at higher levels (high school, travel), the pressures increase. And unfortunately, not everyone understands that. You like to think that you are "Friends"...not "softball friends", but it happens. It saddens me, but you realize that you did your best, and you move on. Not every decision will be popular, and while I strive to make good decisions, I make mistakes. Every good coach does, but just like in other aspects in life, you learn from them and hope to not make similar mistakes in the future.

Luckily, the highs of coaching have far out-weighed the lows. I have made some amazing friends, and lost a few others. If you have a coach that has made an impact, send them a note, tell them. Every coach I know would much rather hear something like that that receive a gift...and when it comes time to leave a coach, be respectful, don't blast them on Facebook, don't bad mouth them. Remember that they tried their best, and they give up their time to hopefully help your child become a better player and person.

I'll try to keep this blog fresh and update it more often. If you found something interesting here...let me know. I appreciate any comments.

Take care of yourselves and your family and friends...

Until Next time

Mike

Notes on a scoresheet

Over the past several weeks, I've had the opportunity to watch a LOT of softball/soccer games, both games in which my daughters played and games where I just sat and watched kids I knew play. I wanted to take an objective look at how various coaches manage the game and their players. As I embark on my first season of coaching high school ball...I want to have a good cross-section of experiences. Just as I have taken something from every manager I've had in my 30 plus years as a manager in the business world, I try to take a nugget or 2 from every coach I've worked with, coached against...or simply watched.

This missive will be primarily about coaches that coach girls softball/soccer, since those are the 2 sports which I am involved in and I know that coaching boys is dramatically different than coaching girls, so if coaching boys sports is your world, this essay may not pertain to you, but I think a lot of the impressions are transferable, so you may get something out of it.

As I've watched games...I've made notes on my scoresheet or in my notepad. I keep these notes as references for situations that I may be involved with. The first thing I have noticed recently is the amazing dedication so many coaches have towards their sports and their players. My daughters have been blessed with some amazing coaches...and like any enterprise, some ones that forgot why they were there, but overall...the amount of time and resources given by men and women who dedicate themselves to the betterment of your kids is pretty remarkable. Yes, a lot of these coaches get paid, I'm getting paid a stipend for coaching high school, but the amount is almost trivial compared to the time on the field, time away from family. If you have a good coach, paid or not...feel blessed, because they do more than you'll ever know for your kids.

A second thing I've noticed more recently is the proliferation of..for lack of a better term..drop-offs. I see so many kids dropped off for practice or games, with their parents leaving them for a couple of hours while they run to other activities. I am just as guilty on this one as any...with 3 kids, and just 2 parents, there are days where it is just impossible to do and get everywhere we need to be. I am SO GRATEFUL for the village we have created that take my girls to games, bring them home, feed them if necessary, watch them...and make sure they are safe. I guess this is a by-product of the society we live in where we can no longer just let our kids run to the park...so we have to have them in an organized structure with parental supervision. I wish my girls could just jump on their bikes, go to the park, and just hang with their buddies like we did when we were kids...but we cant, and I'm very blessed to have a group of parents that I trust implicitly with the safety of my girls.

A third thing I've noticed is the specialization at such a young age. Kids today are being asked to pick a sport as early as age 10. Because of either the financial commitment, the time commitments, the proliferation of club/travel sports...kids just don't go from sport to sport anymore. When I was young, it was baseball in the spring, swimming in the summer, football in the fall, and basketball in the fall. Now kids go year-round in one sport...and I've heard some coaches at the club level tell the parents/kids that they wont be on a particular team if they intend to play other sports. Sorry..that's just crazy. No kid is getting a scholarship at age 11. Yes, skill development is important at an early age...but I've yet to see a kid get denied a scholarship because they played 2 (or 3) sports at a young age. Heck..I'm seeing ads for under 6 Club soccer!!! 5 year old's...playing travel ball!! Maybe I'm in the minority, but that just seems crazy to me. Now, I'm heavily invested in the club/travel world...and it has its positives. But someone will have to explain to me the positives of traveling 2 hours to play a game when all the kid wants to do is go to the playground.

Lastly, and I cant stress this enough. I am constantly in awe of all the moms, dads, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, grandparents that continually get out of their chair, get their shoes dirty and help teach/coach not only their own, but other peoples kids. Coaching is a noble profession. Like teaching, completely undervalued financially,. but the rewards can never be measured by a paycheck. I know not every parent is cut out to coach for various reasons, but it bothered me when we couldn't find enough t-ball coaches at Bonita Valley this year. When Sarah was born, I counted the days until she was old enough to play t-ball so I could coach her. And I know there are hundreds upon hundreds of parents out there who give up their time, energy, financial resources to make your kids lives better..and I hope you take a moment to thank those coaches. For they are a huge part of your child's life. And they deserve to hear a Thank You once in a while.

My schedule will be a little crazy for the next couple of months, so I don't know how much time I'll be able to devote to writing...but rest assured, I'll be making my notes, watching my peers and writing observations on my scoresheets.

Thanks for reading..and I'll be chatting with all of you soon.

Mike

Conversations...

Well...those of you who follow me on Facebook know the past few months have been definitely interesting. Retiring from one job, starting a new career at SDSU, coaching at Olympian, trying to get my daughters to all of their activities...etc. Its been a crazy couple of months and I haven't had much of a chance to sit down and write. Its kind of quiet at work today so I thought I'd take a moment to share a conversation I had recently with a College coach.

I asked the coach what does he look for when he scouts a player for a scholarship. Besides the obvious factor (grades) he looks for a "25% er". I asked what that meant. He said that almost all the kids he looks at have the 75%. Basic skills, good attitude, good teammate, hard worker...what he looks for is that kid who gives that extra 25%. Goes over and beyond what the other kids are doing...fights for every second of playing time, hates coming out of games, practices harder, practices longer, is a team leader, simply put..wants it more.

Another thing he mentioned that with the proliferation of club/travel teams, he sees too many kids that don't have to compete for a spot/playing time. They just move from team to team...looking to be given a spot. By the time they're at the age where he is looking at them..they've forgotten how to compete for playing time. And the one thing he tries to remind parents/kids is that when they get to the age where he's looking at them...they are now competing against hundreds of other kids for that 1 spot on his team...so they better be ready for that!!

An item I found interesting that he spoke about was how he was always disappointed when parents spoke to him about their kids (he coaches at the club level also) and the kid wasn't there. Whether the conversation was a positive one or a negative one, when the child wasn't part of the conversation, he always wonders why?? (Caveat...he was speaking about kids at 13 and above...he agreed that bringing a 7 year old into a conversation wasn't what he was referring to). Were the parents afraid of the child hearing the truth? What was going to happen if he has to have a tough conversation with the child later on and the parents aren't there to shield them?? I asked him why he thinks this happens...he said too many parents want to shield their kids from the truth, and the truth is that not all kids have the skills, mindset, passion to play a particular sport at the college level. And too many parents are simply pushing kids toward a scholarship that they may never materialize.

He said he didn't mean that to be a negative, but to remember that sports is just one piece of the life puzzle. He reminded me that at his school (BTW its not SDSU), less than 5% of the student body are on athletic scholarship, and the other 95% are doing just fine.

I guess the moral of this conversation is if you want to be a "25%'er" in sports...keep working hard, keep pushing yourself to be better, keep competing. But if you find a passion that isn't sports related...be a "25%'er" in that pursuit. Like I've told the kids I've coached over and over again...I'll take a dozen talented kids who give me that 25% more effort over that "all-star" who doesn't.

Thanks for taking the time to read this...my greatest hope that there is one nugget here that you read and say "that makes sense". And if there isn't..well, thanks for reading anyway.

Have a happy new year and I'll be back to this blog soon

Peace

Mike

Pro Coach versus "Daddy" Coach

Again, I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this blog. Its an outlet for me to put down thoughts and ideas that I get from watching my girls (and the teams I'm involved with). Its by no means a comprehensive look, but a snapshot into my world of trying to be a good coach and and a good mentor to all the kids that cross my path.

I watched several games this last weekend and I talked to a lot of people and a couple of themes kept coming up. One of those themes was the concept of playing for a paid coach (one with no personal ties to the team) versus playing for "daddy" coaches...someone whose child or other relative is a member of the team. There are pros and cons for each, and I'd like to take a minute to chat a little about this.

First off, there is a common perception that playing for a paid coach is the best way to go. Yes, this does have some advantages, no worrying about stuck behind someones daughter/son, no "daddy ball", etc, But one thing I've noticed as I've watched multiple teams is that coaches with no personal ties to a team have less of a personal interest in that team. For some, its become a business. Coaching has become a money-making enterprise and they arent invested in the success of each individual child. They are looking for team success...trophies, medals etc that they can show so they can recruit new girls, or add more teams...i.e. more money in the pocket. Again...this is a generalization. There are LOTS and I mean LOTS of great coaches out there who dont have a child on the team. But realize that there is a financial component to this, and coaches are always looking for the next best thing.

DISCLAIMER: I'm a "Daddy Coach"...and I'm damn proud of that!! I love being on the field with my girls, I enjoy watching them succeed in something they love, and being a part of that success. So, this next section has a very personal bias. But, I would venture to guess that an overwhelming majority of coaches (paid or not) began as "Daddy" coaches. Somewhere along the line they wanted to coach their child and that began their coaching career. Some parents stop when their kids get older or stop playing...others continue on. One thing that I see as different between the paid coach and the "daddy" coach is the investment in the "TEAM" concept. When I coach a team, I want my child to be successful. And the best way for that to happen is for the team to be successful. That means I coach every kid to be successful. And you know...what I view as successful is not always what another parent views...and thats ok. Reasonable people disagree on things, especially when children are involved. I'm not going to be the best coach for every child, I understand that. But every time I'm asked to coach/assist with a team, I no longer have 1 or 2 daughters on that team. I now have 12..and I try to treat each one the way I want my daughter treated. As a parent..you should expect nothing less.

Unfortunately, there are some "daddy" coaches that are there for the sole purpose of promoting their daughter. If you're child is a shortstop, and the coaches child is a shortstop, ask lots of questions about how that is going to look. Are they going to rotate?? Ask hard questions, you're paying to have your child play, you should know what the coaches mind-set is. You'd ask a mechaninc what the mind-set is before you hand over a check to fix your car...why not with a coach who you are handling over your most precious asset? Ask around...ask players/parents who play or played on the team what their impression was. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!

I watched a game this past weekend where a team lost in the last inning...and this "paid" coach was just furious. He kept the girls on the field for 30 minutes after the game, lecturing, gesturing. I saw a lot of slumped shoulders from a bunch of 13 year olds. All I could think was...wow, these kids are not having much fun out there. Too many coaches lose sight of whats the real reason for them getting into coaching in the first place. Teaching, mentoring young athletes into better people. It should never be about the coach, it should be about the team. Yes...you want to play for a coach that has produced winning teams and quality student athletes, but you ahould also look for a coach that understands why he's there. And it shouldnt matter whether that coach is paid or a "daddy".

Being a coach is not easy, trying to please 12-13 kids AND thier parents is extremely difficult. If I'm successful 90% of the time, i'm doing a pretty good job. As I mentioned in an earlier post...know who your coach is!!! Research their background, ask their philosophies on teaching, are they a "yeller", or are they more laid back. What does your child want in a coach? Do they want to pushed hard, do they want someone who gets in their face, do they NEED someone to push them. There are lots of motivational techniques out there. You should know what motivates your child and find a coach who utilizes that motivation.

It is my sincere hope that reading this blog has given you some insight into the world of youth sports as I see it. Your views may be very different...and thats great!! I love discussing opposing points of views. If you like this blog..please share it among your friends. Post a comment or send me a note if there something you'd like me to write about or you would like more info. I am no expert...far from it. But I like to write and this is a topic I find extremely interesting.

I hope this message finds you well.

Thanks again for reading

Coach Mike

Things I've learned (version 2)

First off, I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my first version and I've received a very positive response. So much so that I'll try to do a monthly version on this topic for those of you that find this interesting. Again, I am by no means an expert on all things travel, but I think I have learned enough that I can offer some perspective on the world of travel/club sports. Its then up to you and your family to decide whats best.

1) Don't join or play travel simply because your friends are there. If you make the decision to take your child to travel club ball, do it because they are ready and they have a goal in mind. Don't do just because everyone else is. I know kids want to play with their friends...but that is what rec ball is for. If you are commiting the financial and time resources to travel ball...it should be to get your child the best training the money can buy. Another issue with playing with friends as it makes very difficult to leave when that moment comes. Also, ask yourself a question. Is playing with these "friends" going to get my child to their goal? The focus should be on the team and the coaching, not who he/she is playing with. They'll just make new friends...which is a good thing.

2) Playing time is crucial but learning the game is also crucial The biggest reason I've heard from parents that leave one team for another is playing time. I completely agree that if you are paying fees to a travel team, then you obviously want to see your child on the field. But another key component to getting the skills and knowledge to reach high school or college goals is learning the game...and sometimes that happens by sitting..and watching. My oldest daughter joined travel probably a year too soon...she had the physical skills, but she needed to "learn" the game. She sat a lot her first year...and I mean A LOT!!. But she learned the game, she learned what was required of her at this level, and when it was time to look for another team, she was ready both physically and mentally.

3) Playing time is crucial I know, I know...I just said that. But there's another side to this. When you are on a travel team...the only way to get better is to play. The only way you find things that you need to work on is to play...and fail. Of course, there are times when you need to sit a game, or rotate out. But if you find yourself on a team that has 7 or 8 kids sitting out at any given time...you're probably on the wrong team. For softball/baseball...if the roster has over 14 kids, there are probably 2 reasons for that. There is a financial reason or the coach just wont tell a child that they arent at the level they need to be at. Now, I'm not advocating leaving a team just beacuse there are more than 14 players...every situation is different, but if there is 16 kids on the roster, and your child is sitting, you should have a frank discussion with the coach. Ask tough questions, why is she sitting, what does she have to do to get more playing time, what are your long term goals for her. Be prepared for difficult answers. You may not hear what you want to hear, but as a coach, I'd rather be honest with a family than to string a child along. I truly believe you should expect that from any coach you entrust your child to.

4) Be realistic This isnt the first time I've mentioned this and it wont be the last. Travel ball is widespread...there are so many teams out there, that pretty much anyone who tries out can probably make a team. That however, does not mean your child is ready for travel ball. When you go to a tryout, assess your child against the other players...not just in ability, but in size and maturity. Are they physically ready for 4-5 hour practices? Can they mentally handle the pressure and stress that goes with playing at this level? There is nothing wrong with playing rec ball another year if your child isnt quite ready. This is primarily for 12 and under as I know there are few options for 14U rec ball. I've seen several kids who went "travel" at 11 or 12 years old and simply werent mentally ready ..and they are no longer playing. Kids can play year round in rec ball also...so travel isnt the only option. Make sure its right for your child...you and only you can make that decision.

5) What is the goal? Again, I'm bringing up the GOAL. What is your childs goal...not YOUR goal, but your CHILDS goal? Is it to play in high school?? College? I bet if you asked every 8-14 age child do you want to play "a sport" in college...they'd say YES. So, really discuss the goal as the kids get older. Is going to college the goal or is playing in college the goal. If playing in college is the goal, simply joining a travel team won't get you to that goal. Yes, coaches look for skill, but they also look for Grades (the most important thing!!!), community service, teamwork, outside activities. Coaches are looking for complete packages, so create a plan to build a "package". That may mean missing a practice or event to do some community service...or study for that crucial test. I would like to think most coaches would understand that...if they dont?? Well...I think you know by now how I feel about that. One more thing on this...does your coach ask to see your kids grades?? If not...they should be!! Without good grades...theres not much point in playing any sport.

Again, this may or may not apply to you and your family. Each family dynamic is different and you know your child better than anyone. Make the decisions based on whats best for your child. As I continue on in my coaching life, I'll try bring up issues and stories that I think may be of interest. If you find this interesting (or not), shoot me a note and let me know, I appreciate any and all feedback.

Thank you again for reading this...

I hope this note finds you and your family well.

Coach Mike

Things I've learned

Its been a while since I've ventured onto this page...as most of you know, my three daughters keep me quite busy and I don't get much of a chance to sit down and write very often. But I decided to take a few minutes to jot down a few thoughts about some of the issues that not only affect my girls..but lots of their friends and neighbors. As many of you know, my oldest 2 daughters play travel/club sports. Sarah plays travel softball and Emily plays club soccer. Over the last couple of years, I have witnessed an explosion of teams out looking for players...and players looking for teams. We have been on big-name teams and smaller clubs, and while I am not an expert (not even close), I have seen both the positives and negatives of what the "travel" world has become. While many of you will just disregard this essay, hopefully some will take a second to think about some of the points I'm bringing up...if not that's ok also.

1) Do your homework!!! If its time for you to move on to the travel arena...take the time to research the club/program you are interested in. Who are the coaches, what are their backgrounds. What is the club providing you for your money, what are they offering your child? Go to multiple tryouts, don't accept the first offer. Bigger isn't always better. Maybe a big name club is the best fit for your child, maybe a smaller more personal approach is more what your child needs. But ask questions!! I cannot tell you how much it bothers me when I talk to someone who has just joined a travel team and I ask "Who's the coach?"...and they don't know. You are handing your child over to this person for the next several months...you should damn well know his or her name and what their experiences are.

2) Protect your child!! I don't mean from predators, that's a given. What I mean is listen to your child. If they get hurt, try to resist the pressure to "get back out there". Too many coaches, unfortunately, exert pressure to get back on the field after an injury. Understand that the coaches don't mean your daughter any harm (at least I have never met one), but they do need to have players out on the field. Know the difference between being hurt and being injured, children can play hurt...but they shouldn't be out there if they are injured. And if a coach doesn't understand that...then maybe that isn't the right coach.

3) Be realistic about your child's abilities!! We all want our kids to be the next Jennie Finch...or Alex Morgan. That simply isn't going to happen. I'd love for my girls to all get full 4 year rides to a big time college. The odds of that are extremely small. Maybe a Division II or NAIA school is a better fit for their goals and aspirations. Talk to them...what is their goal? Is it to play in college? Is it to go to a good school where they can get a great education and hopefully play sports also? And then tailor the experience to hopefully reach the goal. Talk to the coach and the "administrator" of the program you are involved in. Where do they see your child? What resources do they have to get your child noticed and hopefully recruited? You are paying a lot of money...you should expect something in return for your investment.

4) Enjoy the Ride!!! You never know when your child has played their last game. Lots of kids decide at some point that they are done with sports, or want to do something else. You don't want their last experience with a team to have been a miserable one. If your child isn't having any fun, or its a struggle to get them to go to practice/work out...then maybe its time to explore other options. Now, I'm absolutely not advocating switching teams just for the sake of switching teams. I'm a strong believer in loyalty and commitment. But its not that difficult to see when your child has lost their passion for something. I also strongly believe that you let the child be part of the decision making process. And as parents, you should have fun also. You should be with other parents who you enjoy spending time with. Whatever endeavor you and your child set out upon...the one thing it should be over anything else, is fun!!

5) Let them be kids!!! Kids need downtime...and I'll fully admit, this is incredibly difficult for me to do. Kids need a break from their primary sport, they need to use other muscle groups, learn other skills, meet new people. And downtime doesn't mean that they lie on the coach playing on their phone all day. I strongly believe in even if you're not playing you're primary sport, you're working out..jogging, biking, cardio etc. When your team takes time off...put the gear bag away for awhile and bring out the Frisbee, the jump rope, the volleyball (if volleyball isn't the sport you're getting away from).

I think that's enough for one day. Hopefully you read this and can take something from it. If you read it and think "This guy is a loon"...that's ok too. Like I said, I am no expert...I'm just a dad, trying to navigate the turbulent waters of having 3 amazing young ladies call him Dad. I hope this message finds you well. As always...peace to you and yours. Mike

Well, well, well. I was cleaning up my Favorites list and I ran into this link. I have all but forgotten that I was a blogger. Well I guess that's not quite correct. I have a blog, I just fail to actually use it. I started reading some of my old posts and I was struck by a harsh realization...my girls may be older, but our lives are the same. Still crazy busy, still way too many activities. But as those of you who know me would attest...I wouldn't have it any other way.

But for the 1 or 2 people who'll read this that don't know all that much about me, let me give you a brief update. My oldest daughter Sarah, is a vibrant 13 year old who is fortunately or unfortunately...depending on how you view it, exactly like me. And that leads to a lot of head-butting. But she is an amazing young lady. Great student, terrific athlete, great (most of the time) big sister...and just one of the nicest kids you'll ever want to meet. She has had her share of adventures in the past couple of years. Lots of traveling with her softball teams, including enduring a F5 tornado in a hotel bathroom. She's had her share of heartbreaks in her athletic endeavors, but each time she's fought through the heartache, and came out stronger than ever before. She could have easily given up, or given in to what others have said or done, but she is one of the most resilient kids I've ever met (And yes, I am proudly biased).

Emily is 11 and in her 1st year of middle school. She is also quite athletic as she is becoming quite proficient as a goalie. She still has a lot to learn, but she loves to learn and gets better every time out. This kid will be the death of me however. Stubborn to a fault, but also a great student and sister. She also has had her share of adventures with her soccer and softball teams. And if you haven't seen her lately, be prepared to look UP. She has grown 4 inches in the past few months and now sees eye to eye with Lisa. We just bought school clothes a month ago and now have to go back and get NEW clothes as she has outgrown the ones we just bought. Oh well, more clothes for Aly.

Speaking of Aly...she is developing into quite the athlete/dancer. I guess watching several hundred softball and soccer games will do that to you. She's the first child that's wanted to be a pitcher, she's definitely the most athletic kid at this age, and she just simply loves to dance. Anytime music is playing...she's dancing. She'd take dance classes every night if we'd let her. But we don't...softball and soccer get in the way of that.

As for me, I've morphed into a chauffeur/coach/tutor. Every night, I'm either driving someone to practice, picking someone else up..its quite the interesting life. Heck, I have to come to work to get some rest. On any given week, we have at least 7 to 8 practices. Then weekends...oh good lord!! If we have less than 3 games, its like a vacation. There have been weekends where we have had 8-10 games between the 3 girls. But they love what they do...so we keep doing it. I thank god every day for having good friends that help with the driving, the shuttling, the watching over my kids til we get there...it truly takes a village.

So that's an update...our fall will be very busy as we have lots of sporting activities to deal with, as well as some very challenging school activities (My God, did we have this much homework when we were this age??). So if you don't see me much, I expect that you'll understand.

I am really going to try and update this page just a little bit more, call it my on-line diary. I'm hopeful that someone cares enough to read this stuff, and hopefully the next rambling will have something interesting (if this one didn't)..and until then...take care of yourself.

Mike

Dang, I forgot about this blog...its been over a year since I posted anything and no one even mentioned it to me. Maybe no one bothered to read it. And here I thought I was the next Tom Clancy (guess not).

Well, since I have so much time to update this fascinating blog, I'll just add a few details to my life and fill in the rest soon. The 3 girls are now 11, 9 and 6. And their schedule rival those crazy Jamaican work-a-holics that was on In Living Color (90's reference). Sarah practices Wed-Fri for softball, Emily practices Mon-Wed for softball, Tues-Thurs for soccer, and Aly does Tues-Thurs for soccer and Friday for Dance. Emily and Aly go to CCD on Tues and Sarah goes on Thursday. And they all have games on Saturday and Sunday. I think my next day off from a practice or a game is Thanksgiving.

I am now entering the most dangerous time of my life, pre-teen and puberty. The mood swings, the irritability, the blank stares...and thats just me!! You should see what I'm getting from the girls. I'll be spending the next few years hiding in the garage with the puppy. All I need in there is cable, a small fridge and I'm set. I'll venture in the house to use the bathroom...during the 2 hours a day that it isnt occupied.

Well thats enough for today...I'll be updating this as life goes on. Maybe not as often as I like, but I'll try to regale the 1 or 2 of you that actually have a faint interest in the life of a man who is trying to navigate the 3 daughter waters (hey that rhymed!!)

I hope this missive finds you well my friend (since I'm guessing only 1 of you is reading this) and
pray for this DODO.

Til next time...
Mike

A traveling DODO

Good MLK day to everyone. I promised in my last message I would regale you with our travel adventures to Colorado. As you may remember, we all took a trip to Colorado the first week of January to see my relatives. Of course, after the attempted terror attack on a flight on Xmas day, we were a little nervous about how the Airport security would be. So, on the day of our flight to Denver, we decided to leave a bit early for the airport. Our flight was at 8pm so we packed up the car with the luggage (more on that in a bit) and headed to the airport around 3:30pm. And wouldn't you know it, no traffic, no lines at baggage, no lines at check-in and NO LINES AT SECURITY. In fact, I may have not ever got thru security faster...even traveling by myself. Of course, it took us a half an hour to re-dress ourselves after we had to take off 5 jackets, 5 belts, 5 pair of shoes, assorted watches, phones, sunglasses etc. But we got to our gate at before 5. While that may seem terrific...we now had to wait 3 hours before we could board the plane. I don't know how many of you have traveled through Terminal 2 at Lindberg field, but it pretty much shuts down at 5pm. The only thing open was the hot dog place and the bar. EVEN STARBUCKS CLOSED. And for those of you that know me...that was catastrophic :-). Thank god for wi-fi and the girls DS's.

Oh, about the luggage. Maybe its because we have never traveled to a cold weather area, but we I couldn't believe how much stuff we were taking. Of course, when you need to "layer", the clothing sure adds up. We had the required clothing, hats, scarves, gloves, jackets, sweaters, and shoes. OH my god the shoes. We had to bring an extra bag for the shoes...how could 3 little girls need soooooooo much stuff. And now that the airlines are gouging their customers at $20 a bag...it sure adds up. We were able to stuff...and i mean STUFF all of our garb into 3 large luggage and several carry-ons. One nice thing about traveling with the girls is that we get 5 carry-ons and we took advantage of that.

Another nice thing about traveling with the girls is that we get to pre-board because we are traveling with a child under 5. Its kind of funny watching all the people look at us with that 'Why do THEY get to go first" since Aly is barely under 5, but we weren't going to apologize. We only have 8 months to utilize Aly this way. Unless their is a 2nd Immaculate Conception, I guess we will be in the masses trying to get on the plane on our future travels.

OK...back to the story. We get to Denver about 11pm their time. We find our way thru Denver airport ( a long walk, then a long shuttle, then another long walk), to find our luggage...then another long walk to the rental car shuttles. Which, did I mention are outside...in 15 DEGREE weather. So after waiting about 15 minutes in the cold, the shuttle finally shows up. We make it to the rental car and thankfully, there is no line there. But as soon as we get off the bus, Aly sees the snow...its the first time for her and she just goes nuts. Of course, she has no idea that the snow there is just ice and is VERY COLD. She just starts playing and laughing, ...slipping and sliding, But she is just having a blast, and she doesn't want to leave the rental car area. Oh and speaking of gouging...nice of Hertz to charge $65 freaking dollars to rent a car seat. With all the other crap they "add-on" my pre-paid rental car cost my almost $130 bucks!!!!

Ok...we have our rental car, not is off to find the hotel. Did i mention that the airport is in Nebraska? Damn, it was a long drive to Denver. So after a few wrong turns (there are a LOT of one-way streets in Downtown Denver) we find the hotel, check in, lug the bags in and get the girls ready for sleep. Oh yeah, did I mention how much Sarah and Emily HATE to sleep in the same bed? For sisters, you wouldn't believe how much this bothers them. We always have to place a pillow between them so they each have their "sides"

I already described our trip to Boulder on Saturday, so the next adventure was Sunday. My family let us borrow a sled so we headed off to the mountains in search of a hill. We headed off towards Winter Park Colorado. The weather report said there was a chance of snow where we headed. What I didn't know was that in Colorado, a chance of snow means a blizzard is coming. And being a San Diego native, I bet you can guess how many times I have driven in the snow? Well, after sliding a bit and going REALLY, REALLY slowly thru the mountain (man, I must have pissed some Coloradoans off), we found a hill. After about an hour, we decided to head into town and get some lunch and warm up. Did I mention it was 12 degrees?. Well in Winter Park, we found a public park that is a sledding area. They have sleds for public use, and active fire pits for the parents to keep warm. If you have seen my Facebook pictures, you can see how much fun we all had there. The girls had such a great time. Another couple of hours it was time to head back to Denver.

Ummmm...another thing no one bothered to mention to me was that LOTS of people head Back to Denver from the mountain ski resorts on a Sunday afternoon. The freeway was just gridlocked. Good thing the girls were so tired that they slept the whole time we were stuck in traffic. We finally got to Denver, found a Chili's and went to Denver. One of the best memories was we got there about the middle of the 3rd quarter of the Broncos/Chiefs game where the Broncos HAD to win...and they were getting blown out. I have never seen a sports bar SO QUIET!!! Funny as hell.

The rest of the trip was seeing family, doing some shopping, some more sightseeing etc. Then the Tuesday night weather report. "3-5 feet of snow expected on Wednesday" Well, guess when we were supposed to leave Denver...WEDNESDAY. Our flight was at 9am, and the snow was supposed to start around 10am. We planned on waking up around 5am...I don't think Lisa or I slept at all, because neither of us wanted to miss the alarm. After all, we had to drive back to Nebraska. Well, we made it to the airport in time, got thru security with ease and made it to the gate with about 40 minutes to spare...and then got to pre-board (heehee).

All in all...no nightmares, no disasters, and in actuality, travel was a breeze. I hope all of our trips are this east...but I know this was an aberration :-)

Well, if you have made it this far without being bored out of your skull, I thank you. I hope you enjoy reading my musings as much as I like writing them. For all my fellow San Diego'ans...keep dry. I am saving room on the Ark for you :-). For everyone else, enjoy your week and until next time...

Peace and always...pray for this DODO.

Take Care
Mike

What a week

I hope everyone had an outstanding New Year. This post is going to be a little different than many of the others. Usually I tell you about my travails as a Dad of 3 daughters. Well, this post is a bit more about me and my family's trip to Colorado this week to find MY family.

Many of you know this story, so pardon me if this is a bit redundant. But for those of you who find the time to read this ( and I appreciate your willingness to do so), may not realize that I have never met my 1st cousins. My dad and my uncle became estranged several years ago with very little contact between the 2. Because of this estrangement, it became extremely difficult for me and my sister to contact them. In fact, I hadn't seen my Uncle since I was 6, and I couldn't remember ever seeing my aunt (she said she met me when I was 6). I have 4 cousins (3 boys, 1 Girl). that I had never met. Since my mom was an only child, and my uncle is my Dad's only sibling...me and my sister grew up with essentially NO extended family. To make things even more sad...both my maternal grandparents passed away before I was born, and I never met my paternal grandfather and only can recall meeting my paternal grandmother once or twice when I was very young. I have always been very jealous of those of you that had large families...there is something really special about being able to call a close uncle, or cousin and just talk, or hang out, and I never had that.

Anyway, through the magic of Facebook, I was able to connect with not only my aunt and uncle, but also all 4 of my cousins. It took some time and some coordination, but last week, we were able to fly to Denver and meet 3 of my cousins (one lives in the Bay Area and wasn't able to make it to Colorado), and reconnect with my aunt and uncle.

So...on Saturday, we are doing a little shopping in Denver and my phone rings. It is my aunt. I have to admit that my heart skipped a bit. I was actually nervous to answer the phone. Well, there was a very sweet voice on the other end who was just as excited to hear my voice as I was to hear hers. We made plans to drive up to Boulder a little later in the afternoon to meet, talk and have dinner. The drive from Denver to Boulder is about 25 minutes...I was pacing the hotel room like a caged tiger 2 hours before. I hadn't been this nervous in a longgggggg time. As we were driving, i was actually sweating (good think I was wearing a black shirt). All the time we were driving, I was thinking, "will they like me, will we have anything to talk about, will we sustain this new relationship" etc, etc, etc. Well, my worries were definitely unfounded. We drove up to the house and saw 2 of my cousins shoveling the walk (you don't see THAT very often in San Diego)...I got out of the car and gave my cousins a big hug and it was like we had known each other forever. Walking into the house was just incredible....seeing my uncle for the first time in 40 years was just a surreal experience. I remembered him as a brown haired young man...and here was this gray, long-bearded, distinguished Rabbi who just grabbed me and hugged me. To be honest, I was a little unsure of what to call him. I mean, he is my Dad's brother, but "Uncle" sounded a little weird. But when he hugged me, I knew that all was how it should be. I had my family back.

We spent the next several hours talking, laughing, eating, drinking and just doing what families are supposed to be doing. My cousins are terrific young people and I couldn't be prouder to be related to them. They are bright, confident, dynamic individuals who have amazing things in store for them...and I hope I can be a small inspiration to them. We went back to spend the day with them on Monday. Enjoying lunch, having coffee, taking silly pictures...doing what families do, It was an amazing trip.

Well, that's enough for this evening, I will fill in more details about the traveling in the newly high-securitized airport with 3 children, our trips to the snow and the rest of the vacation.

Thanks for taking the time to read about my little excursion. Have a great week and I will be back soon.

As always, pray for this DODO...and Peace.

Mike

Ahhhhhh...the sound of quiet

Good evening, I have been given the gift of quiet. All 4 ladies are upstairs taking baths/showers and I have been left downstairs with the laptop, a hot cup of cocoa and 5 minutes of relative peace (although I am stuck watching The Sound of Music). This may be the first 5 minutes of peace I have had in the past 2 weeks and the last I will have the next 2 weeks.

The past 2 weeks...I won't say I survived Hanukkah/Christmas, but I made it through relatively unscathed. I tried teaching the girls some Yiddish so they could say the Hanukkah prayers with me....that didn't go so well, so I just let them say the English part and I handled the Yiddish part. The one night we tried both...a 30 second prayer took 5 minutes. Although, I have to admit, it was pretty funny listening to my 4 year old try to say "Baruch Ata Adonai".

Soon after Hanukkah, it was on to Christmas and a boatload of activities. I have to thank some friends who helped keep me sane by inviting me for drinks a couple of times over the past weeks. It has been a whirlwind of activity between family, friends, church, parties. etc. The girls sang 3 times over the past 2 weeks at church. And I am not ashamed to admit that I teared up watching my daughters beaming while singing in the church choir. There is nothing better than watching your kids doing something they love...and doing it well. I am looking forward to the few months as they keep getting better and start soloing.

Christmas was a blast. And when I say blast I am referring to the noise. There were some screams on Christmas morning when the girls realized that they got Ipods (Yes even Aly got an Ipod...you don't want to hear THAT screaming) and when Emily realized she got the telescope she has been dreaming about. What I didn't realize was that the telescope comes in disassembled...in about 12 boxes and 150 pieces. I should have it assembled by next Christmas!!!!

You should have seen the mayhem at my in-laws house with my 3 girls, my 2 year old niece, and all the brother and sister in laws...wrapping paper flying, boxes been thrown, the girls got so many gifts that we are still trying to figure out who gave them what. If you got Aly a Tinkerbell doll...Thank you very much. We have no idea who you are, but she loves it :-)

I spent the day taking down ALL of the Christmas decorations, Usually we wait until New Years, but as I have mentioned before, we will be jumping on an airplane on New Years night and flying to Denver. The girls all got heavy coats, gloves, scarves and hats for Christmas in anticipation of the trip. Tonight it was 7 degrees in Denver...this trip should be veryyyyyy interesting. But we are all looking forward to meeting relatives from my side of the family that we have never met. I am going to see my uncle for the first time in 38 years and finally meet my aunt and some of my first cousins. I'm wondering if I will be teary-eyed or just smiling ear-to-ear. I will keep you posted.

Well, I no longer hear the showers running, so that must mean my 5 minutes are up. I want to thank the 2 or 3 of you that read these ramblings and also thank all of you that have been part of my life these past months/years. I wont post names, but you know who you are....I could never survive these years as a DODO without the support of my friends and my family. Being a DODO is an amazing blessing...an unbelievably challenging one, but I very lucky to have several friends that know EXACTLY what I am going through. Thanks for the chats, the card games, the beers, and just being there when I needed a testosterone boost.

On to a New Year as a DODO...I hope this message finds all of you happy and healthy. I am looking forward to sharing more of my musings with you. As always, pray for this DODO...I will need all the help I can get.

Peace
Mike

WOW...2 posts in a week

Can you tell things have quieted down in the Gross household...I actually have time to type up 2 posts in 1 month. Will wonders never cease.

Anyway, we are just wrapping up the 3rd night of Christmanukkah, the girls finally opened their Hanukkah gifts ( we were busy the first 2 nights) and of course they loved them. Aly got her first ever softball bat (Daddy had tears in his eyes), Emily got the boom box she has been bugging us about and Sarah got clothes. You know your daughter has graduated into "tween" years when she looks at the label to make sure we didn't buy the clothes at Wal-Mart or Target. I guess the clothes budget just got a little bit more expensive. Oh well...only 18 years or so to go.

We have actually had some nights free recently as the girls are only doing choir right now. Don't get me wrong, we are still pounding softballs into the net in the garage....just not every night. Softball is only 6 weeks away, the girls need to be ready, holiday or no holiday (OK...a little too extreme there, but you get my point).

I have a question for all you parents of young children. Once they stop believing in the jolly guy in the red suit, how do you make them behave in December? If you can't use the "Santa wont bring you anything" threat...what else you got? :-)

I realized recently that I talk a heck of a lot about the girls but not much about me and Lisa. THAT'S BECAUSE WE GOT NOTHING ELSE GOING ON. Seriously, I am very excited about my Aztecs, they put a serious whoopin on the Mildcats of Arizona last night....what a great night. I have also started to do some mountain biking again. If I don't have a heart attack from trying to follow Eric on the trails of Otay Lake, I'll be in shape by 2014.

We are looking forward to getting together with friends in the next couple of weeks and sharing some alcohol, some stories, and some good times. We hope to see all of you in the next few weeks.

Enjoy your holidays and your families during the next few weeks. Take care of yourself and as always Peace to you and yours.

This DODO is done for the night.

Mike

Has it been 2 months???

I am an abject failure when it comes to this blogging thing. I know how anxious all of you are to hear about my trials and tribulations of being a DODO....OK, I know most of you just laugh at me when I post these ramblings and don't really care one way or another. But for the 1 or 2 that are interested, here is the latest episode of "What has happened to my life".

Lets see....what has happened in the last 2 months. Lets start with Sarah...she just finished her fall season at Chula Vista ASA. She played in an 12 and under division (She is still 8 in softball years) and did really, really well. She ended up batting .400 for the season and only struck out twice all season. And she was facing 10 , 11 and 12 year olds. She made some great friends and just loved playing for Coach Scott. Scott's daughter Dayne kinda took Sarah under her wing...it was really cute. She also recently finished her first season in lacrosse. The coach told me Sarah has a future in lacrosse (what the heck is a future in lacrosse?)...so who knows where that'll go. Currently, she is just doing choir....and lots of batting practice in the garage. Softball is just 8 weeks away.

Emily just finished her AYSO season and is still doing some camps to get ready for spring tryouts for club teams. Soccer looks like fits her best so we'll let her tryout and see where it goes. We had a great team this season. All the girls were terrific young ladies and we had an amazing group of parents. Sometimes you get a group that makes you forget about the toils of caoching and this was the group. Emily had some really great games and as befitting a 7 year old...some not so good ones. But all in all she really improved this season. She is going to play softball again (she's my daughter, does she have a choice?) but soccer may be her future. She is also doing choir and is just loving singing.

Aly is well Aly. She is doing a Lil Kickers soccer league and attending preschool. She is becoming more and more outgoing everyday. She loves to sing, dance, and create havoc among the house. She has an amzing way of making everyone do exactly what she wants...Lisa and I are in for some interesting times with this little girl. I bet most of you that know Aly think "Come on...she is the sweetest little girl, how could she cause any problems". If you only knew!!!!!!!!

As I'm sure is it is more all of you, these next few weeks will be just craziness. Since we celebrate Christmanukah, we have twice as much stuff to prepare for. The girls are very excited about our upcoming trip to Denver. We are going to see some relatives that we have never met and the whole family is just thrilled that we will be able to meet them. The girls have a 16 year old cousin named Riki that they are dying to meet. We have the usual Christmas pageants to attend, a bunch of parties etc etc etc. So you'll pardon me if I dont get a whole lot written on this in the next few weeks. I am also very busy with Bonita Valley Girls softball since I am on the Board...so even though YOU'D THINK things would be quieting down...they're not. And probably never will.

For all my friends and family that take a moment to read my ramblings and musings, thank you for taking the time to share a piece of my life. I hope all of you know how important you are to me, Lisa and the kids. For those of you I will see this holiday season, I owe all of you a hug, for those of you I wont see, know that you are in my thought sand I wish all of you the most wonderful holiday season and I look forward to speaking with you in the future.

As always, peace to you and yours...and until next time. Pray for me....for this DODO is done for the night. :-)

Mike

I'm lagging

As you can see by my lack of posting, things have been quite busy the past few weeks. Let's get everyone up to speed on the the life of a DODO.

Man, where to start...let start with the youngest daughter this time. Aly has been quite the character lately. She has started a Lil Kickers soccer class. Its basically a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds playing games and learning some basic soccer skills. Of course, every Saturday morning its a battle to get her uniform on and get her to the field. And of course, as soon as she gets there she has a blast. And that is pretty much the story of everything she is doing. "I don't want to go to school" in the AM...."I love School" in the PM. Oh, did I mention the 1:00am night terrors? Yep, our darling girl has been waking up screaming the past few weeks. Not every night, but frequently enough to cause my wife and to have had precious little sleep the past few weeks. Of course Aly falls back to sleep in about 15 minutes...I, on the other hand stay awake til about 5:10...right about when the alarm goes off.

Emily has been involved in soccer...a LOT of soccer. She plays AYSO and has been attending a club soccer teams developmental academy. So basically she has 3 practices a week and a game every Saturday. Of course, I am the chauffeur to all these practices/games. But she is really enjoying it and doing very well. She has scored 3 goals in the last 2 games and has impressed some of the club teams coaches. She still has to try out for the club in February, but she has a pretty good shot.

Oh yeah, I have another daughter....Sarah just finished her summer softball season with a 5 hour marathon semi-final and championship game. But it was all worth it when her team took home the Championship trophy. Sarah did really well, with 5 hits on the day and 7 RBI's. But she was one tired 9 year old. I thought she was going to take the fall off...but a friend of ours is coaching a 12U team and asked Sarah if she wanted to play on his team. I don't know exactly what Scott said, but after a 5 minute conversation...she was signed up and is now playing in the fall. She also started her lacrosse clinic on Sundays. Oh yeah, she and Emily are singing in their church choir...their first performance is tomorrow the 20th.

Sooooooo...the schedule for the foreseeable future is..

Monday - Softball/Soccer practice....Then Choir practice
Tuesday - Nada (Wooo Freakin Hoooo)
Wednesday - Soccer
Thursday - Nada (Heavy Drinking is probably going to be listed here soon)\
Friday - Soccer
Saturday - Soccer, Soccer, Softball
Sunday - Church, Lacrosse

So please understand why this blog tends to stagnate every so often. Maybe I will start posting a couple of lines more often than these long rambling sagas.

Oh by the way....thanks to everyone that emailed, called, IM'd, Facebooked, etc to wish me a happy birthday. The sentiments and thoughts were very much appreciated by this old, old, OLD man (and getting older by the day).

As always, Peace.
Mike

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

You are not going to believe this...I mean this is such a shocking ocurrence it boggles the mind. I am almost afraid to say anything as I am scared I might jinx it. I hope all of your eyes can handle this shocking, once in a lifetime news...


THE GIRLS HAVE NOTHING TO DO TONIGHT!!!!!! No practice, no games, no dance, no choir, no nothing. I am having a hard time remembering the last weeknight that this happened.

I get to go watch my former softball team play and maybe, just maybe, have a cold drink with the fellas afterward.

Please don't share this with anyone, I'm afraid of the phone ringing and the voice telling me that I am late for something that I didn't have on my calendar...SHHHHHHH :-)

On to tomorrow.

As always...Peace.

You just gotta love them...Right??

Another weekend...another trip down Drama Lane. Lets see, it started off on Saturday morning with Emily melting down about going to her soccer academy. This child is the most confusing, unable to decide, emotional child you can imagine. I am going to chalk up this weekends episode to her asthma acting up and her not feeling well. But instead of her telling us...she decided to pull the covers over her head and be hysterical. She has promised us that she will be ready to return to her club teams practices this week...we shall see!!

Next on the agenda was a softball game. What do you do when you have 12 9 and 10 year olds who instead of having fun, look like they are going to the dentist. I tried every trick in my bag to get these girls fired up. Maybe the loss to a team we shouldn't have lost too will wake them up. Somewhere along the line, they stopped having fun, maybe its the heat, maybe its a little burnout. I think massive amounts of sugar are on the agenda for next Saturday morning.

Next was a trip to a sporting goods store to get my oldest outfitted for her first lacrosse clinic/class. I think we did pretty good to get out of there for about $100. We got a stick (is that what they call those things), mouthguard, gloves, chest/shoulder pads, and a helmet. Normally girls lacrosse doesn't require a helmet, but Sarah had never done this and we don't want the ball to ricochet off her melon the first day out there. Speaking of melons, you should see the helmet on this child's head....soooooo freakin cute. Someday, she'll let us get a picture...she is a bit self-conscious about it. She thinks it makes her head look big.

And then the fun began. Lisa ,my fantastic, adoring, beautiful wife...(she might read this :-)), left with Emily to go to the store. The 3 year old (Aly) was asleep. About 20 minutes after Lisa left, Aly woke up looking for Mommy. Aly proceeded to spend the next hour and a half crying, sobbing, screaming, kicking (add your own adverb), and calling for MOMMY. She would not let me hold her, she just cried...and cried...and cried. It was all I could do not to lock myself in the bathroom.

Today...much better. I had 2 Fantasy Football drafts to attend. I got a needed shot of testosterone to get me through the next week of soccer practice, softball practice, and whatever else these 3 ladies throw at me.

As always, pray for me and wish me luck.

Til next time...Peace!

Help me here

Its been a few days...time to catch up on the life of a DODO. Well, as you should know by now, this is no longer my life, I am just living each day to shuttle a daughter from one activity to another. To get caught up, one daughter is playing softball until mid-september, then is starting lacrosse....lacrosse??? What the heck is that. Now I have to learn another new sport. Isn't it enough that I have spent that last 4 years learning how to throw underhand, learning what the heck a "Circle Violation" is, and trying to balance the fragile emotions of 13 8 year old with my complete and utter desire to win a championship no matter who I have to stomp on along the way (okay, that last part isn't really true, but you get the idea).

The middle daughter has been doing the yo-yo thing with joining a club soccer team. First its "I want to play", then its, "I just wanted to see what it looked like", then its "I want to play", then its "practice is hard"...OH MY FREAKING GOD,,,this child is 7...what is she going to be like in 5 years.

And the baby, who really isn't a baby anymore, started preschool and will be playing in her first soccer league in a month.

Oh, by the way, all of the fall activities...start on the same day. Soooooo...don't be surprised if you get a phone call asking you to pick up a child somewhere, and drop her off somewhere.

Ok DODO's, here is where you can chime in...how often do you hear "Oh Bless you" when you tell people you meet that you have 2, 3, 4, or whatever daughters. What do they know thay I haven't figured out yet?

Thank god for Fantasy Football.