Things I've learned

Its been a while since I've ventured onto this page...as most of you know, my three daughters keep me quite busy and I don't get much of a chance to sit down and write very often. But I decided to take a few minutes to jot down a few thoughts about some of the issues that not only affect my girls..but lots of their friends and neighbors. As many of you know, my oldest 2 daughters play travel/club sports. Sarah plays travel softball and Emily plays club soccer. Over the last couple of years, I have witnessed an explosion of teams out looking for players...and players looking for teams. We have been on big-name teams and smaller clubs, and while I am not an expert (not even close), I have seen both the positives and negatives of what the "travel" world has become. While many of you will just disregard this essay, hopefully some will take a second to think about some of the points I'm bringing up...if not that's ok also.

1) Do your homework!!! If its time for you to move on to the travel arena...take the time to research the club/program you are interested in. Who are the coaches, what are their backgrounds. What is the club providing you for your money, what are they offering your child? Go to multiple tryouts, don't accept the first offer. Bigger isn't always better. Maybe a big name club is the best fit for your child, maybe a smaller more personal approach is more what your child needs. But ask questions!! I cannot tell you how much it bothers me when I talk to someone who has just joined a travel team and I ask "Who's the coach?"...and they don't know. You are handing your child over to this person for the next several months...you should damn well know his or her name and what their experiences are.

2) Protect your child!! I don't mean from predators, that's a given. What I mean is listen to your child. If they get hurt, try to resist the pressure to "get back out there". Too many coaches, unfortunately, exert pressure to get back on the field after an injury. Understand that the coaches don't mean your daughter any harm (at least I have never met one), but they do need to have players out on the field. Know the difference between being hurt and being injured, children can play hurt...but they shouldn't be out there if they are injured. And if a coach doesn't understand that...then maybe that isn't the right coach.

3) Be realistic about your child's abilities!! We all want our kids to be the next Jennie Finch...or Alex Morgan. That simply isn't going to happen. I'd love for my girls to all get full 4 year rides to a big time college. The odds of that are extremely small. Maybe a Division II or NAIA school is a better fit for their goals and aspirations. Talk to them...what is their goal? Is it to play in college? Is it to go to a good school where they can get a great education and hopefully play sports also? And then tailor the experience to hopefully reach the goal. Talk to the coach and the "administrator" of the program you are involved in. Where do they see your child? What resources do they have to get your child noticed and hopefully recruited? You are paying a lot of money...you should expect something in return for your investment.

4) Enjoy the Ride!!! You never know when your child has played their last game. Lots of kids decide at some point that they are done with sports, or want to do something else. You don't want their last experience with a team to have been a miserable one. If your child isn't having any fun, or its a struggle to get them to go to practice/work out...then maybe its time to explore other options. Now, I'm absolutely not advocating switching teams just for the sake of switching teams. I'm a strong believer in loyalty and commitment. But its not that difficult to see when your child has lost their passion for something. I also strongly believe that you let the child be part of the decision making process. And as parents, you should have fun also. You should be with other parents who you enjoy spending time with. Whatever endeavor you and your child set out upon...the one thing it should be over anything else, is fun!!

5) Let them be kids!!! Kids need downtime...and I'll fully admit, this is incredibly difficult for me to do. Kids need a break from their primary sport, they need to use other muscle groups, learn other skills, meet new people. And downtime doesn't mean that they lie on the coach playing on their phone all day. I strongly believe in even if you're not playing you're primary sport, you're working out..jogging, biking, cardio etc. When your team takes time off...put the gear bag away for awhile and bring out the Frisbee, the jump rope, the volleyball (if volleyball isn't the sport you're getting away from).

I think that's enough for one day. Hopefully you read this and can take something from it. If you read it and think "This guy is a loon"...that's ok too. Like I said, I am no expert...I'm just a dad, trying to navigate the turbulent waters of having 3 amazing young ladies call him Dad. I hope this message finds you well. As always...peace to you and yours. Mike